grossness

today i bought a book at DI for the boys. i think it was called "The Encyclopedia of Gross Things". tonight mom emailed me an article abt a singer in vegas who grew her fingernails 20 feet. or something nasty like that. got me thinking abt gross things. clearly there is an interest, right? okay... i remember when i was twelve... i had a crush on a boy named craig. i remember him teasing me after church bcs he saw me pick the sunburn peel off of my shoulder and eat it. i was so humiliated. but i don't think that's the worst thing i've done.  last night i had a piece of skin on my toe that was snagging on my blanket. i was too cold and just too dang lazy to get out of bed for the clippers. so i bit it off. well, i TRIED to bite it off. but in my older age, my teeth just don't line up well enough to do any kind of precision pedicure. i know, i know, it's disgusting. but my foot WAS clean.... ??

heck. i ought to get a little bit of credit for getting my toe in my mouth, don't you think?
:(

cell phones

okay, just need to complain for a minute... :( i had this old cell phone w/tmobile. but they were raping me w/monthly fees. so eric and i decided we can consolidate. we gave up my service adn phone in exchange for HIS with verizon. okay, so we get out his phone that he loves so much (yes, you might detect a little jealousy even...but before you think i'm strange, you should watch him caress it.....but i digress) and discovered that the battery is dead. so i went to verizon and was told it was over $30 for the stupid battery. and our contract isn't up until march, so no luck replacing the phone w/any kind of discount. arrgh. so the lady whispers over the counter, "i'd buy one online...they are much cheaper". so i did. i bought 3 actually. paid for 2. but when the first one came it was deader than dead. so they sent another one. wait! i forgot to add that i bought a generic one at ace hardware first. it worked, but sd "non-supported phone" and when i looked it up in the m anual it sd i could only use it for the life of the battery. it would not be able to charge. duh. like i want a phone for a day. :( anyway... so have tried 4 different batteries, and none have worked. oh, and i have to add that i've had to wait for delivery on them, so this has taken over a month. seriously. do you know what it's like to live w/out a cell phone for a month?!?!? OH MY HEAVENS. i am spoiled rotten. :(
sooooo..... i FINALLY decided i'd had enough of it. one guy told me it's not the batteries, it's the phone. so i got on KSL and through sleet and darkness drove 100 miles to buy a used one for $30. today i was THRILLED beyond measure to get it hooked up so i can be connected to civilization again. so i bring it in to verizon. they sd, "you have to have internet for this one...that's $30 more a month". ????? WHAT?????
i know, i know, you think they were just being funny. but NOOOooOOOOO. this was the truth. they were going to charge me $30 extra a month. i sd, "i don't use it for internet. i just want to text and talk. that's it".
"sorry" she sd.     ....by this point, i'm sure i had steam blowing out of my ears.  "OH MY HEAVENS. I WANT TO KILL SOMEONE".   i didn't even realize i sd it out loud. but worse? she took me seriously. "well, i guess if you want to go to jail for the rest of your life".   SERIOUSLY?? that comment alone almost pulled me over the counter in her direction. but no, i contained myself.   i ordered the $40 stupid verizon approved samsung battery. in two weeks i will know for certain if it's my phone or the stupid batteries. and yes, i have to be w/out a cell phone for AT LEAST that long.  tonight i'm thinking of taking that 30$ phone to the railroad tracks. do you think it might derail the train?? hmm... probably better not take that chance.

i did learn something though. i'm addicted to my cell phone. it's a third boob to me. and i feel naked w/out it. it fits comfortably in my bra. and it brings me pleasure. (since only friends and family can call me on it). :)

life, huH?

i'm soo. and i'm an addict. :(

mammo part deux

wow. what was all that fuss abt? it hardly even warrants a post!! a mammogram is really nothing to be afraid of. i thought that they have to squish it to within an inch. are you kidding me?i  have more fat than that!! i was fearful that it would squish my boobs until something popped or the skin split or i would be the one case where blood would ooze out of my nipples or the machine would malfunction and jsut keep compressing. haha...all my fears were in vain.
k. the rest of this is for the mammo virgins. :)
you undress just to the waist. you put on a gown. the machine is new age and kinda cool looking. you just stand on the tape and the nursey lady (who was awesome in my case,, but i'm sure there are nurse ratchets out there) basically puts your boob on the tray that is at the right height bcs it's completely adjustable. it's a clear tableish thing. and then she finagles all the boob parts that are trying to squirm away. she has the "paddle" (which had to be upgraded to the larger size...the only embarrassing part of the whole procedure) gently press down. then she does a little manual tighten, asks you to hold your breath and voile'! that was it!!
that was the easy part. then she does the same thing on the other side, and then you do a sideways one. basicaly you are in the same position, but the tray is kind of tilted so they can get it at an angle. and they do the same thing. i'm not going to lie, this part hurt. but what hurt was my ribs. bcs they want to get the whole boob on the tray, and you have to kind of lean into it. i wish they'd use that cool gel stuff? anyway, that was it....

oh, one more thing---it was deodorant that i wasn't supposed to use. :( eeek!! so i used a little wet  wipe to take it off. :) then when it was all over, they had a spray can of deo to refresh. :)

DONE!! piece of cake. probably in and out in less than 10 minutes. so if you haevn;t done it, GET OUT THERE AND GET IT DONE!!!!! :)

mammo

today is the day of my first mammogram. what was i thinking?? i was hoping to kind of do a little photojournalism today, but i've been told it's not appropriate to bring my camera. :( bah.

anyway,, i'm excited, and have every intention of telling all the details when i get back. we'll see if i'm as anxious to share AFTER the fact. one thing i can share now: when they scheduled the appt, the guy sd something abt... oh, what was it? something like, "don't wear any powder or perfume". something like htat. i remember telling him taht i'm going to be nervously sweating, so he might be sorry he sd that. but this morning as i was getting dressed, i coudlnt' remember what he sd not to wear?! was it deodorant?? perfume?? i do remember powder bcs i almots sd i'm too dry to use powder. but now i dont' know.... so as i prepare to be squashed, i have one more little concern:  which chemical was i not supposed to use? and why?

oh my heck!

i have no idea how to get these pictures where i REALLY want them.

but these top four are things i would have "rather" broken, if i were going to do it on purpose. hardly worth the accident if i broke something that eric actually CARES abt. and no, i'm not wanting anything to happen to any of these. i'm just trying to prove a point.  :)

i just broke eric's byu neon light!!!! oh my heck!!! it's blue and it has the letters "BYU"..... he has had it in the box in the garage, and when it was christmas time, we got out all of the decorations. he sd he was bringing that in, and i told him it's not christmas!! i was just teasing him. i didn't care!! but he's been telling everyone that i didn't want it in the house bcs it's not christmassy. :(  and i've played along w/it. now it's broken. i went in the boys room to lift the blinds. i guess the cord was wrapped in the blinds, bcs it fell and cracked into a million pieces!! i can't believe it!!! i feel just awful. i really didn't care if he had it in the house, but i don't know if he could believe me. afterall, i told him i didn't like it. but really, if i were going to get rid of something, i can think of OTHER things in the house i like less. oh i feel awful. :( and it gets so much worse. i just wrote him an apology email at work (i'm too scared to call), and i promised i would replace it. i got online and wouldn'tcha know? i can't find anything like it!!!!! it's a collector's light???! really?? a neon football college insignia??? REALLY??? how valuable IS this thing??? oh, what have i done.... :(

money

this morning i paid our bills. we have had to borrow money to pay some of our more significant bills, like lawyers and medical. it's been a strain. however, things are soooooo much better than when i was single and trying to stretch a nickel to cover milk. i remember scavenging through couch cushions for a little grocery money. i'm not kidding either. so i was telling my sister this morning abt money and kids these days and it got me to thinking...

that's me on the left w/2 of my best friends growing up. eventually we all worked at that car wash together.  w/all the perves. :(  (meg and aleta roncallo)

they have no idea what life is going to be like when they grow up. they have their own tvs....flat screens. they have ipods and computers and video game systems and transportation. they have food and clothes and all the comforts of life. and they haven't had to work for them. they consider making their bed and cleaning up their own rooms to be chores and work. no concept of real life. i remember working as a kid. i sold lightbulbs door to door w/the boys scouts when i was 12. i had a paper route also. i babysat outside the home for 50 cents an hour. and i remember when i got my first raise to 75 cents an hour. that was for watching the gaisfords 5 kids. and i didn't watch tv while the kids played in the other room. i was hands on w/all of my charges. changing diapers, reading to them, playing games. and my mom taught me to wash the dishes and leave the house cleaner than i found it. so i did. picked up toys, cleaned up food and dishes. when i got my first summer job at 15 it was working at a car wash. the full service kinds. where the car is put on a conveyor belt. i had to jump in the back door of the car as soon as it got through the power dryer and spray and wipe the back window before it got off the belt. and there were hundreds in an hour. i made 3.95/hr and thought i was rich.  so i have told my boys abt my experiences with money and working. they throw that story into the pile of stories of people w/one tv (black and white!) and horse and buggies. you know, the ones where you walk to school through three feet of snow, up hill both ways. my boys look at me w/the "pffft" glare, and under their breaths call me a dinosaur. 

but they'll learn. the prophecies warn us of times to come. they will learn. hopefully before it's too late to do something abt it. work=stability. no two ways abt it.  and i am GRATEFUL. both to have been taught that, and for that principle. bcs w/out hard work, there can be no confidence. but after all we can do, we can have peace that we have done that. :)

friends...

i lied. i told you that that was going to be my last post, but eric's watching sports, and my mind is going a mile a minute. i either interrupt him while he's in his male-zone, or click away on the laptop. it doesn't take a rocket scientist to determine the wiser choice.... :)

i was just thinking of my boys' friends. two of my boys had friends over tonight. there were more boys in the house than girls, and i even had a zumba friend over for dinner. not that the testosterone majority is rare, but it is always more obvious when it's multiplied exponentially. anyway, i was just thinking of how sweet these boys are. they have their trials in life at younger ages, and they are trying to find their lot in this life. my heart goes out to them. and as i was thinking of them, of course my mind turned to other sons' friends who have influenced me and touched my heart. each of my boys have had friends who have come to our home under varying circumstances, and i have felt towards them as i do my own. even my nephews. i love these boys. i ache for these boys. i hope for these boys. i love these boys. so to all of jason's, andrew's, brandon's, alex's, sammy's and taylor's friends who ever have stepped foot in our home (here OR logan OR alaska OR wherever...), thank you. thank you for befriending my boys. thank you for being a part of my family. thank you for feeling comfortable enough in our home to help yourself to the food in the fridge.....and reading scriptures with our family....and leaving your dirty socks under the couch....and, wait! did i say that? okay, maybe not the last one. but really, thank you. i appreciate you. i want you to grow up to be the kind of men that you are capable of being. be good fathers. be good husbands. be good workers. be good men. :)

ps: and know this: our door is always open to our friends who pass this way. we are always ready to welcome a friend when he passes along our way.... :)

final post for the night

i guess i have diarrhea of the mouth tonight. i can't stop thinking/talking/writing. so bear w/me for my final post of the night. i was looking at my digital photos for pictures of me w/out makeup. besides the lesson i learned abt my vanity, i also noticed a common thread in all of my pictures. i'm going to see if you can guess....

what????

 can you guess??

can you??? do you know???

 yes.....yes, yes...i LOOOOooOooOVE to kiss him!!!!!! :) !!!!!

it's not just because he's so stinkin' cute. 

or that he smells sooooooooooooooo good....

it's not even that he tastes good....or that his skin is so dang soft...

or that his whiskers are so manly....

i think the biggest reason of all??

he LETS me.... :)

why blog?

i just read that my sister meg is going to start a blog. i'm so excited. :) but why? what is it abt blogging that is so entertaining? i have wondered that for years as i've seen blogging replace personal pri-pri books. and i think i've figured it out. we are insatiably attracted to these common human experiences that connect us. we can relate to each others' imperfections and we become comfortable as we hear one another's stories.
i was asking eric why there are so many inactive members in our ward boundaries. i really do believe it's because everyone has their "story". and sometimes they never get a chance to get that out. so we have to uncover them. who offended them? why? then apologize and let them put it behind them. sometimes just being acknowledged for how one feels is all we need. in the guru world of psychiatry, they call that "validation". in real life, we call it listening.  ...or in the case of blogging? we call it reading.

so meg? get your blog up and running. i'm interested. i'm "listening". :) and while i'll be happily entertained, the best part will be the connection.

the only picture i could find w/out makeup. i guess i'm vainer than i thought. :(

and tomorrow? i think i'm going to give everyone at church something to relate to. i'm going to go to church w/out makeup. :) why not? time to let my hair down and be real. right?

online recipes

this year i have discovered a couple of recipe sites and i've had just a blast trying to recreate them. some have been divinely successful (to die for pork chops, pumpkin cheesecake, ...) and others have been nothing short of disastrous. so what makes the difference?! i am no kitchen scientist. to be honest, i wouldn't know what spices go w/ginger or when to use cumin. abt the only food combination i'm confident of, is meat and salt and sugar (in all it's glorious forms) and milk. think: cookies and milk, sugar cereal and milk, cake and frosting and milk. :) and when you think abt that milk, make sure it's chilled WHOLE milk. anything less is disappointing. but i digress again...
last wk i made "texas roadhouse rolls". i haven't ever eaten at texas roadhouse, but i HAVE heard abt their rolls. and the picture alone made me gain 3 pounds. so it was w/anxious anticipation that i whipped up the recipe EXACTLY as it appeared on the magic website screen. it rose perfectly. i remembered every detail. i didn't even lose count when i was counting out the flour cups w/my 1/3 cupper bcs i couldn't find the stinkin' whole cupper cup. and when i baked them in the oven, the entire house was engulfed in the most amazing homemade bread smell i've ever encountered from my own doing.  so why was it that when i popped them out of the oven....lightly golden and covered in butter, they were crispier than a saltine?! why? o why do i disappoint myself so?? i was salivating enough to fill a swimming pool, and one crunch into the roll, i was ready to swear off eating for a month.
but there WAS a silver lining....on that same recipe page, there was a  recipe for whipped cinnamon butter that alex threw together. we were licking the bowl. i don't know if it's me? the oven? or the recipe, but next time i'll use the spread for the appetizer, and just serve saltines to dip...

shivers and goosebumps

i alluded to my biggest prize in a previous blog, but i feel the need to expound a little on that subject. one of my favvvvorite subjects: ERIC...
:) he IS my knight-in-shining armor. and i have to tell you why....
forget the fact that he is the cutest man on earth, and he is built like a miniature Discobolus of Myron (you know, the greek discus thrower...and yes, i DID have to google it for the name. :) ) . again, forget those two facts.
he is just so much fun. he is always saying funny things to make me laugh. he has a giggle that is highly contagious and a smile that takes my breath away. when he calls on the phone and i hear his voice, my heart skips a beat. and when he touches me?? wow...i get shivers and goosebumps. seriously. when we were at the christmas party last night, and he gently put his hand on the back of my  neck, i swear my neck hairs grew an inch (i know, i know, gross...).

(i'm not intentionally filling this blog w/photos of taylor, but he hasn't reached that "don't take pictures of me" stage yet. )

but i just told you all the physical things abt him....but it gets better. we have had 3 official fights. 3 times where i cried and he eventually got cranky with me. in a year. and here's the best part: he doesn't go to sleep until we have discussed it (ad nauseum for him i'm sure) and resolved things. and i don't know abt you, but i'm the kind of person that does and says a lot of stupid things. the kinds of things that embarrass me later. i'm not talking abt mean things. i'm talking abt baring-my-soul-and-exposing-all-of-my-insecurities things. and after i've vomited those vulnerable thoughts and feelings, i just can't seem to shove them back in my mouth and swallow them in time for him to not notice. and right at that awkward time when i'm wondering if i've reached the point of no recovery, he comforts me. HE COMFORTS ME!!! i just can't believe it. i am constantly in awe of how he is. with me. with the cashiers at the grocery store. with our smelly dogs. and most importantly, with our boys. he is such a fun and awesome father to all of our boys. (really to all kids. period.) he prays for them and thanks Heavenly Father for blessing him with these boys. he teaches them and he loves them.

how did i ever get so lucky? i have no idea. but know this: i am eternally grateful. :) and i'm more than lucky. i'm blessed. :)

prizes

i mentioned that i  have never won anything, but as soon as i posted, i remembered that that is a lie. last christmas, (or was it the one before?) i seemed to have luck on my side the entire season. i won a gift card from some anonymous friend on a "healing" website. (i gave that away to a sister who had a harder year than me). i won a willow tree manger scene from deseret books. (i gave that away to a neighbor who was alone for the holidays). i can't remember, but there was one more thing i won.  it was awesome. i wanted so badly to do things for other people, and just didn't have the means. so this allowed me to do something small for someone else. it was awesome. it helped make my Christmas. :)  i'd tell you my FAVORITE personal miracle Christmas story, but i can never let anyone know. that secret will die with me....

lucky me...

i have never been a winner. i've never won the grand prize on publisher's clearinghouse...i've never won the big cabin-in-the-woods giveaway....i've never won the game of survivor. i've never even won a blue ribbon. heck, i don't think i've ever even won a game of risk. never won a thing... never, that is, until last night....

i'm sooooo excited!!! we went to eric's company party (which by the way, was a BLAST!!) and eric won a HUGE prize!!!!! we won two goblets (real fancy glass kinds w/kinky stems) and a bottle of non-alcoholic mixed berry bubbly and...get this...a one night stay in "the LODGE" room at the hines mansion in provo!!!!!!!  i'm soooo excited!!!!!

but it wasn't w/out a hitch... see, we were wandering around visiting w/people, and at the time of the drawing we happened to be sitting near some neighbor/friends/co-worker/carpooler-w/eric...and RIGHT BEFORE they called eric's name for the big prize, they called rusty's name for a car battery charger. eric has wanted that exact charger, and when they called rusty's name eric let out a "WHAT? THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY NAME!" .....then they climaxed w/our "big prize" and eric could have dropped a tear. hahaha...he was trying to finagle w/the other couples at the table a trade. and i was busily running behind him whispering in the ears of the couples---'please, pleeease, noooooo!!! i have a charger in the closet for christmas!!! pleeeease!!!'.....simultaneously the wives were begging their husbands, "please, pleeeease, a romantic getaway!!!! pleeease!!!'..... i thought i even heard one of them mention something abt leaving the swimming suit behind this time... (yes, there IS a hot tub in the bedroom) wink*wink*

so, w/sweat dripping from my forehead, i held my ground. and we walked out of there w/our prize. i'm feeling so lucky, if i were a gambling fool, i'd be heading to reno. :) 

....ps: i just have to add that if you look at my prize picture, you will notice the best prize in the background. :) isn't he cute??!? :)